


Food Groups and Pie Charts

by AuntG



Series: Because I Got Pie [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drunk John Winchester, Fruit, Gen, Teen Dean Winchester, Vegetables, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21644401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuntG/pseuds/AuntG
Summary: Part 3 of my pie series.
Series: Because I Got Pie [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558882
Kudos: 9





	Food Groups and Pie Charts

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.

1993

By December Sam had had enough. 

He was grateful to their mystery pie provider, but they clearly did not understand that man could not live on pie alone (despite what Dean thought). So, going with the theory that he and his brother had come up with earlier Sam decided to fib one day while dad was passed out. He told Dean that he needed markers and poster board for a class project. 

Dean complained, but after dad left to hunt a Rugaru—Sam's sad puppy eyes #17 a.k.a. why can't we be normal, Dean—inspired him to come up with the money somehow. 

Sam proceeded to create a large pie chart illustrating the various food groups and the percentage to which each group was to be eaten on a daily basis. Really it was a very basic chart, the only change Sam made was to divide the fats and sugars category (which was supposed to be 1%) to .5% fats and sugars and .5% pie. Sam was proud of his finished product and set it on the table to be found, then talked Dean into going window gazing at the window displays of Wisconsin.

Eventually they returned to the hotel to find that John had returned early and he was steaming mad.

“What is the meaning of this?!” he said, using his beer to point at the pie chart.

“It's not enough that I try my hardest to provide for you and keep you safe, you gotta make fun of my shortcomings?!” John screamed, slamming his fist into the table.

Sam panicked.

“I made it for Dean! It was just a joke because he would only eat pie every day if he thought he could get away with it.” Sam said, trying to play it off as a practical joke.

“Well that just came out of your candy fund.” John grumbled, calming down. 

Mentally, Sam rolled his eyes. As if dad would ever give them an allowance—especially for candy.

After a moment, dad tossed the pie chart at Dean and wandered off muttering about going to sleep.

“This for our friend?” Dean asked sympathetically.

Sam shrugged.

“Yeah.” he said sadly.

“Well, you gotta fix it, 'cause the _meat_ _man_ needs fewer veggies than this.” Dean said, pointing to the 50% that was fruits and veggies. Sam stuck out his tongue.

“Real mature, bitch.”

“Whatever, Jerk.”

*****

Two weeks later, dad left to go on a hunt in Wyoming but Sam suspected that he was lying since he had always avoided that state like the plague.*

The boys saw him off, and when they returned to the motel room they were surprised to find it heavily laden with a platter containing cranberries, apples, walnuts, almonds, cashews, oranges, squash, potatoes, carrots, celery, broccoli, green beans, red onions, and brussel sprouts.

Dean glared at Sam.“This is _your_ fault.”

It didn't stop him from digging in when they succeeded in borrowing a wok from the motel manager, bought some soy sauce and oil and did a fry up for Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> *Have you ever noticed that they never go hunting in Wyoming? I think it's because the Campbells live there.


End file.
